(With deepest apologies to Swift and Poe.)
Betty, I make no assumption,
Dare exhibit not the gumption,
For thy home-room’s past transumption,
But I think it’s ‘cause of me.
Betty, once, my skateboard riding,
Petty chance, my wheel-course guiding,
Passed me by thy fair residing.
It was like I couldn’t breathe.
Betty, I recall the founding
Of romance’s first confounding:
‘Twas your favorite song’s resounding
From the far side of the gym,
You would look, but could not find me—
Crowds and I do not mix kindly;
This you know, need I remind thee?—
Plus I saw you dance with him.
From Inez you heard the rumor
(Ever love’s incessant tumor).
Oft we took her words in humor,
But this time her aim was true.
How could I inject “however”?
Explanation how endeavor?
For the worst thing that I ever
Did, was what I did to you.
Love and pavement in declension,
She arrested my attention,
Figment of my worst intention,
Coaxing, “James, get in. Let’s drive.”
Pride receiving any comer,
Balm for heartache seeking from her,
Though we trysted all of summer,
All my dreams were at thy side.
Betty, now for weeks I’ve planned it,
Dwelling on the desperate gambit
Till my soul can hardly stand it,
But it’s finally sinking in:
‘Tis one daydream’s last distraction
Till potential turns to action.
What were finally thy reaction
When you see my face again?
Dare I pray my sin suspended?
Dare I hope thy wings be mended?
If thy party I upended,
Wouldst thou bid me hangèd be?
Or to backyard gardens leading,
Hear the guilty mercy pleading,
Youthful ignorance conceding,
“All I know: I’ve missèd thee.”
